Last Sunday, I had an interesting conversation with a friend. He had reached out to ask some questions about putting together a personal development training. While speaking to him, I shared the story of how I began my journey in hosting trainings on leadership, finance and personal development. I reflected on the first webinar series I hosted, the school tours and then to hosting a workshop among others. It was an emotional moment for me recounting those experiences not because I wasn’t excited about my achievements but because of the many times that I failed and said that I was going to quit. Severally, I asked myself if it was really worth it. I mean, I could have been hanging out and having fun like other teenagers then.
I told him how there was a time I would write to senior friends requesting sponsorship for some of those events and they would give me some money to just get me off their neck. Sometimes, the total sponsorship for these events were less than fifty dollars. I recall how I wanted to host a Mathematics tournament for elementary school kids after ninth grade. I reached out to a couple individuals requesting for sponsorship but got only six books from my high school Principal, who was one of the people I requested some sponsorship from.
For that same event, I reached out to about fifteen schools to request the participation of their students but only three agreed to participate in the competition and just two of the three eventually presented students to take the written test. At the end, I took the six books courtesy of my Principal to their schools to give to them. Mind you, I wanted to have a whole event where these students would compete with each other but that couldn’t happen.
What about when I wanted to host my book launch and I reached out to a prominent preacher to speak at the virtual launch. He confirmed attendance and when I followed up, he never replied despite receiving and seeing all my messages. I sent them on Instagram before you ask how I was sure that I he had seen those messages.
There is also the story of how I started a social enterprise with a friend but after a while, he left and when a new responsibility came up, I had to hand it over to some people to run but today it is a thing of the past. Similarly, my younger brother and I started many businesses when we were younger and many of them failed. Today, I look back and smile when I think of all these things. They are hilarious and humbling at the same time. Truly, we don’t ever look like what we may have been through or better still, where we are coming from.
I think we need to accept that failure like success is a part of life and while, I hate to sound like your regular motivational teacher; your failure really doesn’t matter but what you do with it.
It doesn’t come as a shock that no one likes talking about failure at most conventional gatherings. We hate failing so much that we allow it define us when we should be inspired by it to forge ahead. We are so obsessed with the idea of success that sometimes we allow it erode us of our humanity. Today, many people are willing to do the worst to be successful forgetting that we are first humans before anything we choose to become. I mean if Adam and Eve failed, then I don’t think that anyone is more human than them to be above failing. Be human and win honorably and if you lose, lose with pride and dignity.
When it comes to moving past failing, I ask myself this question, why cry over spilled milk when the market still sells fresh milk? There is always an opportunity for a fresh start. Sometimes it may be you continuing from where you stopped.
When asked how he handles failure at The Emerging Excellence Workshop in January 2024, Dr. Bisi Akande replied “I welcome it. I embrace it.”
So FAIL FORWARD!
Failure really isn’t as bad as the world makes it seem. Some of the people that make you feel ashamed when you don’t get it right have never bothered trying what you are doing so why do their opinions matter? Failure is like a training ground. It is an opportunity for you to express your innate self that is not above mistakes and errors. You are free to fail a thousand times and rise up a thousand times until you get it right. Before most designers create masterpieces, they squeeze and trash many sheets of canvas but when they get it right, they reflect the God-given opportunity to share in God’s creative prowess; they create masterpieces.
So I am thankful for the times that I have failed. I know that even as I get ahead in life; I may need to make two or three or more trials before getting some things right. I may not be excited but I wouldn’t allow that to weigh me down and you shouldn’t too. Forge ahead after every defeat. You may not feel like it but at the end, you would realize that it was worth it.
Charles
This is very inspiring. I usually think it’s those who have tasted failure that aren’t afraid to take the greatest risks in life. I, for one, don’t like failing so I’m very cautious and rarely daring. That kind of mindset might limit me from shooting for the moon. But you’ve spoken well on this topic and it’s nice to know that failure, like success, should be one of those things we humans should be willing to embrace.